I have started writing about 20 blogs that I have not completed. I am hoping that this topic can motivate me enough to reach completion. Part of me doesn’t know why I haven’t finished my other stories but maybe a part of me doesn’t want it to end….. So today I’m going to try to finish this one, even if it doesn’t have an end.
What I will be sharing with you is something that I see to be a unique emotion or state if being. It’s called compassion. This is not a distinct emotion as I have experienced it in 2 ways. It is when one feels a response to help or share in what another person is feeling. To really break it down in Ciara terms (doesn’t mean its right but its what I think.) Its when you have put yourself aside and can actually place yourself in the other persons shoes and truly feel what they are going through. You may often emulate and feel the emotions too. However you may not understand what your feeling completely, as it can come in different forms such as physical, spiritual or emotional.
There are two ways I have experienced compassion in my life. These two ways are in pain and in love. Today I will mainly be sharing compassion through pain and save compassion through love for another day.
The origin of “compassion” is Latin meaning for “co-suffering” or to “love-together”. It goes beyond being empathetic which many can relate to. As empathy is the capacity to understand what another person may possibly be experiencing whereas compassion is more involved, to a point that you actually desire to alleviate another’s feeling if it is a state of pain or to share in the love. Compassion is recognized through having the knowledge of human behavior, and the ability to identify with another person and to embrace in the transfer of feelings.
I believe compassion is a fundamental value in our lives but often not easily understood. Compassion has come to the forefront in my life over the last two years. I think it generally stemmed from me having the desire to feel happiness in my life again. I was willing to compromise everything, even if that meant putting everything on the line and pushing myself to the limits. Having gone through what I consider to be the most challenging times in my life. Dealing with divorce, moving from a home I just built, changing my career from a job I loved and rebuilding who I am as an individual. I cant say I make a point of practicing compassion, I think its just in you. In dealing with these difficult times in my life compassion has allowed me to:
– Assume the best in others
– To be accepting of these difficult times
– Let go of the pressures in the difficult times and choose to pursue what makes me happy
I have experienced some of my most difficult times through this process as it is not always easy to understand, especially when you have felt mistreated. To end my blog I will share with you an example of what this process looks like to me:
Step 1:Try to imagine the mood and state of mind that person was feeling at that time they mistreated you. Recognize the pain that person might be experiencing which may explain why they would have treated you that way. Having the ability to understand their actions is key and to fully realize it was not about you, but about what they were going through at that time.
Step 2: This is where it gets tricky try to think some more……. Focus on how that person is feeling then visualize what you can do to try to stop the pain in that person. As confusing as it might seem, your trying to figure out how to help someone who has hurt you.
Optional Step: This step is used when I am having a difficult time with steps 1 & 2. I start by reflecting on myself and bring up a time when I have mistreated someone, and remember when someone has acted with kindness and compassion toward me even though I was in the wrong.
Hopefully these steps can help you be compassionate through some challenging times in your life. Just remember happiness is within all of us and it starts with how we view life itself. Be kind, compassionate and share your smile with the world.